


Petticoat

by thewriterpoe



Category: SHINee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 08:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5410253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterpoe/pseuds/thewriterpoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was wearing her favorite petticoat – the simple black one that showcased her generous bust. She hadn’t seen him yet, her sad eyes marking the curve of her breast in the reflection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Petticoat

      She was wearing her favorite petticoat – the simple black one that showcased her generous bust. She hadn’t seen him yet, her sad eyes marking the curve of her breast in the reflection. On any other occasion Jinki’s eyes would have darkened with lust and the feeling in the pit of his stomach would have been the same but he knew sex was not on her mind as she looked at herself.

      He remembered when the doctor had said the words ‘breast cancer’ and ‘mastectomy’. The look on her face scared him. It was same look she had three days before she left him after the scandal of their dating hit the news outlets. She had listened to all the people who said that it would be better for his career if she “went away” even though he promised to stand by her no matter what. This was different though. At least he hoped it was different. She had always been conscience of how important his career was to him but she had to know that she was more important, right?

      “Baby,” he called softly.

       She startled, hastily wiping her tears. “Oh, you’re home,” she noted trying to smile.

      “Yeah, I’m home.” He put down his duffle bag. “Are you okay?” Careful concern lined his face and tone. He didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was but he needed her to talk to him. She was proud and didn’t like showing that side of her, especially after the scandal.

      Her smile gained strength. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She must have remembered that he was supposed to be on tour and asked why he was home. He didn’t know whether to be grateful that she always considered his career or offended that she thought he’d actually let her to go to surgery by herself.

      “What about the concert?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned that his fans would be upset with his absence.

      “You are more important now,” he said walking towards her.

       She seemed frightened by his approach and he knew it was because not all her armor was on, that there was a danger that she might break down in front of him. He held her; feeling the way her breathing become faster and shallower as she tried to pull herself together; feeling the way her body shook when she couldn’t do it; feeling the way her tears soaked his shirt when she finally gave in. In a strange way, he was happy to see her like this.

      “I’m so scared,” she admitted.

      Jinki kissed her head, glad she wasn’t apologizing to him like she did the night they got the diagnosis. “I’ll be there with you,” he said, stroking her hair.

      “Even after?” she asked timidly, burying her face in his chest.

      Jinki tensed. He knew this was a concern for her, him leaving her because she wouldn’t be attractive to him anymore. She used to be insecure about him being constantly surrounded by beautiful women but he’d joke that their boobs weren’t nearly as glorious as hers. That night, when she apologized to him for the cancer diagnosis, he knew that what she was actually apologizing for was the loss of the things she thought he liked most about her. He resolved to make it clear that he loved her for more than her breasts.

      He held her face between his hands and kissed her nose. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”He said it lightly but his eyes were wet with sadness and maybe disappointment.

      There was gratitude in her smile as she looked up at him, maybe doubt. So to remove all uncertainty, he kissed her deeply, like he did their first night together when he couldn’t seem to get enough of her. And despite the years, he’s still couldn’t get enough of the way she mewled into his mouth or the give of her neck when she surrendered to his kiss.

      His passion startled her at first – they hadn’t been intimate in that way since the diagnosis - and she pressed back but when he sucked on her tongue, she mewled; the bend of her neck giving him access to the back of her mouth. He had to stop because the whirling in his belly was getting stronger and he wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further. He smiled when he saw that she was just affected as he was. Still, to be sure he asked. “Do you…is it okay…if we…”

      She nodded, her fingers already working on the button of his jeans. From there it was a race to get their clothes off and he almost missed the way she was watching him.

      “What?” he asked, biting his lower lip. “Did you change your mind?”

      She shook her head. “It’s the last time you’ll see my body like this.”

      His eyes dropped to her chest. He couldn’t lie - he was going to miss them. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted looking back at her. “I love you?” he offered. He kissed her, pressing her body close to his as if hoping that will be enough to convey the sincerity of his feeling. “I will always want you. You just have to let me show you.”

      “Show me,” she whispered, half seductively, half bashfully.

      No sooner had she said the words, she was sighing into his neck, his fingers between her thighs eliciting shivers all over her body.

*

      She was wearing her favorite petticoat – the simple black one that used to showcase her generous bust. She hadn’t seen him yet, her wet eyes marking the curve of the scar in the reflection.

      Jinki found that it was easier to show her that he would always want her before the surgery than after; easier because she didn’t hide from him then. He knew that it would take some time, the doctor had said something about a grieving period, but when he woke up in the middle of the night with her head between his legs, he thought that things were getting better. They fucked that night; in the dark with his hands above his head. It was the only way they have sex now; in the dark, not touching.

      “Baby,” he called softly.

      She startled, hastily closing the tie of her robe. “Oh, you’re home,” she noted trying to smile.

      “Yeah, I’m home.” He put down his duffle bag.  It felt like déjà vu.

      “Are you hungry?”

      “Babe,” he chided. She was doing it again – shutting him out.

      “I’m sorry. It’s just been a crap day. I’ll get over it.”

      “I thought we weren’t doing this again,” he said in frustration.

      “Doing what?” she asked, her tone a little edgy. These days it was so easy for her to become angry.

      “Pushing me away.”

      “I’m not!” she shouted. “I just said that it’s been a crap day.”

      “Yes,” he returned hotly. “But I don’t want you to have to get over it. I want you to get through it, together with me. And that means you have to let me see you. You have to let me touch you.”

      She panicked at his words. “Jinki, it’s not easy.”

      “I know,” he approached her carefully as though any sudden movements would spook her. “But I’m here for you. I don’t know how many ways I can say it…there’s no space in my heart where I don’t want to love you. ”

      She started crying but stopped herself.

      “Please,” he begged.

      It took a while but she nodded her consent, and Jinki let out a breath he felt he’d been holding for months. He watched her eyes grow wide when he raised his hand to draw the robe aside. They closed and she turned her face away when the silk drape fell off her shoulders. She held her breath when the pad of his index finger made contact with her skin.

      There was nothing but their breathing between them.

      Jinki took inventory of his feelings. He wasn’t disgusted or turned off. He was…

      “You’re not saying anything.”

      “It looks painful,” he said the first thing that came to his head.

      She opened her eyes but she kept her face turned from him. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

      He traced the scar as far as the petticoat would allow, remembering the mitts she used to wear to keep from scratching and aggravating the wound. Then his finger tripped up to her collar bones and slid across her shoulders, pulling the straps of her petticoat down with them. Her eyes snapped shut, her whole body tensing as the petticoat gathered at her feet.

      Whatever he was expecting it was not this. It was a completely different body. He had felt the difference when they fucked; there seemed to be less of her when their bodies pressed together as she rode him. Seeing it with his own eyes he felt…

      “Jinki,” she whispered, voice breaking.

      He kissed her. Gently. He started with her eyes, tasting the tears pooled there; her nose, her cheeks, her lips, the back of her ear, her neck, her collarbone.  Her hands, idle at her sides, gripped his arms as his lips touched the top of her scar. Her D-cup size had been reduced to half an A-cup. He kissed her sternum, her left nipple, then her right. Her grip on his arms tightened as he lingered there, sucking and flicking until the familiar timbre of her moan filled the room. 

**Author's Note:**

> Lee Jinki needs to be my husband.


End file.
